"Twenty (sic.) Something Betters"
               From the movie "Roxanne", starring Steve Martin.
                Edited from tape by Brett & Lorre Anne Carver.

1.   Obvious:         Excuse me.  Is that your nose or did a bus park on
                      your face.
2.   Meteorological:  Everybody take cover.  She's going to blow.
3.   Fashionable:     You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore
                      something larger.  Like... Wyoming.
4.   Personal:        Well, here we are.  Just the three of us.
5.   Punctual:        Alright gentlemen.  Your nose was on time but you were
                      fifteen minutes late.
6.   Envious:         Oooo, I wish I were you.  Gosh.  To be able to smell
                      your own ear.
7.   Naughty:         Pardon me, Sir.  Some of the ladies have asked if you
                      wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
8.   Philosophical:   You know.  It's not the size of a nose that's
                      important.  It's what's in it that matters.
9.   Humorous:        Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Sneeze and its
                      goodbye Seattle.
10.  Commercial:      Hi, I'm Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for
                      $39.95.
11.  Polite:          Ah.  Would you mind not bobbing your head.  The
                      orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12.  Melodic:         Everybody!  "He's got the whole world in his nose..."
13.  Sympathetic:     Oh, What happened?  Did your parents lose a bet with
                      God?
14.  Complememtary:   You must love the little birdies to give them this to
                      perch on.
15.  Scientific:      Say, does that thing there influence the tides.
16.  Obscure:         Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17.  Inquiry:         When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18.  French:          Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles
                      until you leave.
19.  Pornographic:    Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
20.  Religious:       The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He.
21.  Disgusting:      Say, who mows your nose hair.
22.  Paranoid:        Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23.  Aromatic:        It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and
                      smell the coffee... in Brazil.
24.  Appreciative:    Oooo, how original.  Most people just have their teeth
                      capped.
25.  Dirty:           Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?