Back to the Jokes
If you are hallucinating, please press the button with the little snake on it now.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please count all of the buttons and then press each of them in order. If that doesn't work, press every possible combination of the buttons.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple pesonality disorder, each of you should press 3.
If you are paranoid-delusional, you can hang up now--we know who you are, where you live, and what you want.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you do not have a touch-tone phone, please press 0 now.