What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs...

 in a pile of leaves?                             Rustle
 with a shovel in his head?                       Doug
 without a shovel in his head?                    Douglas
 with a seagull on his head?                      Cliff
 with ten rabbits up his butt?                    Warren
 on your wall?                                    Art
 dead on the floor for three days?                Dusty
 throwing up?                                     Chuck
 shaving?                                         Nick
 on your front doorstep?                          Mat
 on stage?                                        Mike
 in your pool?                                    Bob
 in your hot tub?                                 Stu
 in the garden?                                   Rose
 in a ditch?                                      Phil
 in your mail?                                    Bill
 on paper?                                        Mark
 holding up your car?                             Jack
 waterskiing?                                     Skip
 playing basketball?                              Jim
 struck by lighting?                              Rod
 on hot asphalt?                                  Flip
 two guys hanging out your window?                Curt & Rod
 under your microscope?                           Gene
 in your computer?                                Chip
 in a stream?                                     Eddy
 in your mailbox?                                 Bill
 left out in the sun?                             Wilt
 who every one takes a dump on?                   John
 going over a fence?                              Homer
 in your girlfriend's lingerie drawer?            Teddy
 between two buildings?                           Ali (alley)
 covered in oil?                                  Derek
 on your BBQ grill?                               Frank
 girl on the BBQ grill?                           Patty
 no arms, no legs, no head, no torso?             Dick
 upside down in the end zone?                     Spike
 that you use to loosen hex screws?               Allen
 two guys nailed to your spice rack?              Herb & Basil

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs...

 who puts him in the fireplace?                   Burnadette
 with no arms, legs, or torso?                    Muffie
 with one leg shorter than the other?             Eileen
 Japanese woman with the same affliction?         Irene
   after the operation?                           Noleen
 who's hanging from your chandelier?              Crystal or Tiffany
 on the beach?                                    Sandy
 in your dishwasher?                              Dawn
 in your frying pan?                              Pam
 in your garden?                                  Lilly or Violet
 at sunset?                                       Eve
 in a hole?                                       Peg