1. Johnny has an AK47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 8 of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-bys can he do before he has to reload?

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the arrest value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the average take is $85 for each trick, how many tricks will each bitch have to turn so that Rufus can pay for his $800 a day crack habit?

4. Jerome wants to cut his half pound heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4x4. If he stole 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's how many Chevy's will he have to steal to make $1000?

6. Raul is in prison for 8 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month more than her welfare check, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison, and how many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?

7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is three square feet, how many times can you spell "Fuck" with 3 cans of paint?

Back to the Jokes